Archive for September, 2011

Short funny riddles – Celebrities have it or not

Posted on September 5th, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Short funny riddles – Celebrities have it or not

Funny Mickey Mouse image

Short funny riddles

Short funny riddles – Celebrities have it or not

Schwarzenegger has a big one,
Michael J. Fox has a small one,
Madonna doesn’t have one,
The POPE has one but doesn’t use it,
Clinton uses his all the time,
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one,
George Burns‘ was hot,
Liberace NEVER used his on women,
Jerry Seinfeld is very very proud of his,
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s

What is it?
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A last name……. Were you thinking of something else?

Funny your mom jokes – Mother-in-law went to safari

Posted on September 4th, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Funny your mom jokes – Mother-in-law went to safari

funny mother in law image


Funny your mom jokes

Funny your mom jokes – Mother-in-law went to safari

A BIG-GAME hunter went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law.

One night the couple woke to find the mother gone.

In a clearing not far from the camp they came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a tree with a snarling lion facing her.

The wife said:
- “What are we going to do?”
- “Nothing,” said the husband.
- “The lion got himself into this mess, he can get himself out of it.”

Husband and wife joke – Newly married couple

Posted on September 3rd, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Husband and wife joke – Newly married couple

funny mariage image

Husband and wife joke

Husband and wife joke – Newly married couple

A couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife:
- “Honey, I’ll be right back.”
- “Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.
- “I’m going to the bar, Pretty Face. I’m going to have a beer.”

The wife said:
- “You want a beer, my love?”
She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was:
- “Yes, Lollipop… but at the bar… you know… they have frozen glasses… “

He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying:
- “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said:
- “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious… I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
- “You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and pork strips.


- “But my sweet honey… at the bar…. you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that…”
- “You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?… “LISTEN UP D*CKHEAD! SIT DOWN, SHUT THE F*CK UP, DRINK YOUR GOD DAMN BEER IN YOUR F*CKING FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR F*CKING HORS D’OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN’T GOING TO A F*CKING BAR! THAT SH*T IS OVER…GOT IT, AS*HOLE?”
…and, they lived happily ever after. Isn’t that a sweet story.

Bird Jokes – An elderly woman buy a parrot

Posted on September 2nd, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Bird Jokes – An elderly woman buy a parrot

Funny bird parrot cat
Is it me or that bird looks really comfortable ! :-D

Bird Jokes

Bird Jokes – An elderly woman buy a parrot

An elderly woman was looking for a pet to be a good companion and not much trouble.

The pet store owner suggested a parrot, showed it to her and guaranteed her it would be a wonderful companion.

The woman asked if it would behave if she took it to church with her on Sundays.

The owner said it shouldn’t be a problem and that she could put him on her shoulder and he would stay there.

She bought the parrot and for the next week spent time getting to know him.

Assured that he spoke properly and was well behaved, she put him on her shoulder and went off to church.

Just as everyone quieted down and the sermon began, the parrot looked around, squawked and said:
- “It’s goddamned cold in here!”

Everyone turned to look at her and she ran out of the church in total embarrassment!

All the next week, she talked to the parrot explaining the necessity to remain quiet during church.

The parrot understood so she put him on her shoulder and went to church the following Sunday.

Once again, just as everything got quiet and the sermon began, the parrot squawked, looked around and loudly proclaimed:
- “It’s goddamned cold in here!!”

And again the woman ran from the church. The next day she returned to the pet store and explained the embarrassing situation to the owner.

Since she didn’t want to get rid of the parrot, the owner offered the following solution:
- “If the parrot does that again, grab him by the legs and swing him around 5 or 6 times and return him to your shoulder.”
- “That’ll work?” asked the woman.
- “Guaranteed!” exclaimed the owner.


So, the next Sunday she took the parrot to church and, sure enough, just as the sermon started, the parrot squawked.
- “It’s goddamned cold in here!!”
Without any hesitation, the woman grabbed his legs, swung him around 5 or 6 times and placed him back on her shoulder.

The parrot shook his head, ruffled his feathers and said:
- “Pretty f&%kin’ windy, too!”