Funny business picture

Business joke

Business joke – Young business man

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.

He saw a man come into the outer office.

Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.

Finally he hung up and asked the visitor:
- “Can I help you?”
- “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines.”

Boss and secretary funny image

Boss and secretary jokes

Tell me a good news !!

A secretary walked into her boss’s office and said, “I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news for you.”

“Why do you ALWAYS have to give me bad news? he complained. “Tell me some GOOD news for a change.”

“All right. Here’s some good news,” said the secretary. “You’re NOT sterile!”

Private secretary

Police was investigating the mysterious death of a prominent businessman who had jumped from a window of his 9th-story office.

Nancy, his voluptuous private secretary could offer no explanation for the action but said that her boss had been acting peculiarly ever since she started working for him, a month ago.

“After my very first week on the job,” Nancy said, “I received a raise. At the end of the second week he called me into his private office, gave me a lovely black nightie, five pairs of nylon stockings and said, ‘These are for a beautiful efficient secretary.’

“At the end of the third week he gave me a fabulous mink stole. Then, this afternoon, he called me into his private office again, presented me with this fabulous diamond bracelet and asked me if I could consider making love to him and what it would cost.”

“I told him that I would, and because he had been so nice to me, he could have it for just 500 bucks, although I was charging all the other guys in the office one thousand. That’s when he jumped out the window.”

Job interview joke – Interview to be a TV news broadcaster

Job interview joke

Interview to be a TV news broadcaster

A man goes in for an interview for a job as a TV news broadcaster.

The interview went quite well but the trouble was he kept winking and stammering.

The interviewer said:
- Although you have a lot of the qualities we’re looking for, the fact that you keep winking and stammering disqualifies you.

- Oh, that’s no problem, said the man. If I take a couple of aspirin I stop winking and stammering for an hour.

- Show me, said the interviewer

So the man reached into his pocket.

Embarrassingly he pulled out loads of condoms of every variety – ribbed, flavoured, colored and everything before he found the packet of aspirin.

He took the aspirin and soon talked perfectly and stopped winking.

The interviewer said:
- That’s amazing, but I don’t think we could employ someone who’d be womanizing all over the country.

- Excuse me!, exclaimed the man, I’m a happily married man, not a womanizer!

- Well how do you explain all the condoms, then?, asked the interviewer

The man replied:
- Have you ever gone into a pharmacy, stammering and winking, and asked for a packet of aspirin?

Clean office jokes – Get rid of all slackers

Clean office jokes

Clean office jokes – Get rid of all slackers

A well-known company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
e new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall.
The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He asked the guy:
- “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said:
- “I make $400 a week. Why?”

The CEO said:
- “Wait right here.”

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said:
- “Here’s four weeks’ pay. Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked:
- “Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said:
“Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s.”

Business jokes – God’s real profession

Business jokes

Business jokes – God’s real profession

An economist, a philosopher, a biologist, and an architect were arguing about what was God’s real profession.

The philosopher said, “Well, first and foremost, God is a philosopher because he created the principles by which man is to live.”

“Ridiculous!” said the biologist “before that, God created man and woman and all living things so clearly he was a biologist.”

“Wrong,” said the architect. “Before that, he created the heavens and the earth. Before the earth, there was only complete confusion and chaos!”

“Well,” said the economist, “where do you think the chaos came from?”