Category Archives: Jokes about …

Jokes about woman – Cheminal analysis

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Jokes about woman

Jokes about woman – A Chemical Analysis of woman

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal

Woman Physical Properties

a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Woman Chemical Properties

a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Woman uses

a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it’s too hot.

Woman Tests

a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Woman Caution

a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.

Jokes about men – 10 things men won’t say

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Jokes about men

Jokes about men – 10 things men won’t say

Here are 10 things men will never say:

1. Let’s watch Lifetime!
2. Sex is overrated.
3. I don’t want to go too far on the first date.
4. Yes, I did notice your sister’s breasts are bigger than yours.
5. There is nothing I like better than crawling into bed with a good book.

6. I’m glad I don’t have a large penis.
7. My hips are too big.
8. Aw, can’t we watch Oprah?
9. Does this suit make me look fat?
10. I’ll never get tired listening to Celine Dion.