Posts Tagged ‘Senior’

Bird Jokes – An elderly woman buy a parrot

Posted on September 2nd, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Bird Jokes – An elderly woman buy a parrot

Funny bird parrot cat
Is it me or that bird looks really comfortable ! :-D

Bird Jokes

Bird Jokes – An elderly woman buy a parrot

An elderly woman was looking for a pet to be a good companion and not much trouble.

The pet store owner suggested a parrot, showed it to her and guaranteed her it would be a wonderful companion.

The woman asked if it would behave if she took it to church with her on Sundays.

The owner said it shouldn’t be a problem and that she could put him on her shoulder and he would stay there.

She bought the parrot and for the next week spent time getting to know him.

Assured that he spoke properly and was well behaved, she put him on her shoulder and went off to church.

Just as everyone quieted down and the sermon began, the parrot looked around, squawked and said:
- “It’s goddamned cold in here!”

Everyone turned to look at her and she ran out of the church in total embarrassment!

All the next week, she talked to the parrot explaining the necessity to remain quiet during church.

The parrot understood so she put him on her shoulder and went to church the following Sunday.

Once again, just as everything got quiet and the sermon began, the parrot squawked, looked around and loudly proclaimed:
- “It’s goddamned cold in here!!”

And again the woman ran from the church. The next day she returned to the pet store and explained the embarrassing situation to the owner.

Since she didn’t want to get rid of the parrot, the owner offered the following solution:
- “If the parrot does that again, grab him by the legs and swing him around 5 or 6 times and return him to your shoulder.”
- “That’ll work?” asked the woman.
- “Guaranteed!” exclaimed the owner.


So, the next Sunday she took the parrot to church and, sure enough, just as the sermon started, the parrot squawked.
- “It’s goddamned cold in here!!”
Without any hesitation, the woman grabbed his legs, swung him around 5 or 6 times and placed him back on her shoulder.

The parrot shook his head, ruffled his feathers and said:
- “Pretty f&%kin’ windy, too!”

Jokes for the elderly – The wealthy widower

Posted on August 26th, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Jokes for the elderly – The wealthy widower

funny senior image

Jokes for the elderly

Jokes for the elderly – The wealthy widower

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, showed up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde. She knocks everyone’s socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and hangs over Bob’s arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club were all aghast.

At the very first chance, they cornered him and asked, “Bob, how’d you get the trophy girlfriend?”
Bob replied, “Girlfriend? She’s my wife!”


They’re knocked over, but continued to ask. “So, how’d you persuade her to marry you?”

“I lied about my age”, Bob replied.
“What, did you tell her – that you were only 50?”

Bob smiled and said, “No, I told her I was 90.”

Senior citizens jokes – Sex nearly 100 years old

Posted on August 18th, 2011 by admin  |  No Comments »

Senior citizens jokes – Sex nearly 100 years old

Funny senior couple

Senior citizens jokes

Senior citizens jokes – Sex nearly 100 years old

On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, a girl goes straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother.

When she asks how her grandfather died, her grandmother replies:
- “He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.”

Horrified, the girl says:
- “Two people nearly 100 years old having sex! Surely that’s asking for trouble?”

- “Oh no, my dear,” replies granny.
“Many years ago we realizing we should slow down.
We found the best time to do it was just as the church bells start to ring.
They have just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.”

Wiping away a tear she continues:
- “and if that god dam ice cream van hadn’t showed up, he’d still be alive today!”