Posts Tagged ‘Woman’

Men Women Jokes – The man guide to female english

Posted on March 16th, 2012 by admin  |  No Comments »

Men Women funny pic

men women funny pic

Men Women Jokes

Men Women Jokes – The man guide to female english

We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure…Go ahead = I don’t want you to
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re … so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not over reacting! = I’ve got my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]


Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it
Was that the baby?= Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

Jokes about woman – Cheminal analysis

Posted on March 4th, 2012 by admin  |  No Comments »

Picture about woman

funny woman man picture.jpg

Jokes about woman

Jokes about woman – A Chemical Analysis of woman

Element : Woman
Symbol : Wo
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower
concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal
fluctuations.

Woman Physical Properties

a) Surface usually covered with painted film.
b) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
c) Melts if given special treatment.
d) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
e) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
f) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.

Woman Chemical Properties

a) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones.
b) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
c) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
d) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in
alcohol to a certain point.
e) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
f) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Woman uses

a) Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
b) Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
c) Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
d) Can cool things down when it’s too hot.


Woman Tests

a) Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
b) Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Woman Caution

a) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
b) Illegal to possess more than one.